Is it our gifts
that define us?
Or what we give
that intertwines
the circumstance
of our lives?
In making sense
of it all
I climbed a ladder
so tall
it almost took me
to heaven and back,
but not quite.
With all my might
I lifted
the weight
right off your shoulders
and you felt alright
Once again
at least for now
You're my today
I'm your tomorrow
and that's the way
it's always been
You live and act
in the present
and I'm procrastinating
into the future
where
Somewhere
our worlds collide
to become the fullness
of time
Spare me a moment
of yours
and I'll tell you
the secret of time
has no rhyme or reason
that we can see
at least in this season
of our lives
Somehow at the meeting place
when the clock
strikes with precision
we will know
that the time is now
and act in unison
unaware
that we even share
a moment
in time
until it's almost gone
Realize
that time is on our side
and don't work against it
Keep climbing that ladder
I'll take the stairs
and meet you there.
Don't worry,
We'll be right on time...
Written on June 18, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
Synaxis of Remembrance
Lost what I thought I had
gained what I had not.
In the process
lost myself,
but not all that I knew.
When this took place
did time stand still
and take pity on my circumstance?
No! Time went on
and life around me
surrounded me,
even though a life
I had lost.
All has not been forgot
and never will completely,
for that soul
has played an important role
and it’s a part of what completes me.
The seed
planted within
grew up precious from the start.
I grieve
that not everyone
got to participate
in this precious life,
but now he gets
to participate
with the angels.
In worship.
He got a one way ticket
just a few months in,
but his passport
is still.
Stamped with Love.
Love so intense
if another could sense it,
they would likely cry a river
along with me in my sea.
I ask why sometimes
and know I’ll get no answer.
Even when there may be one
or two or three or four,
there is no verbal word
of consolation
from my expectations.
Deep within and far without.
How do people go on
when they lose a loved one?
Life goes on around us,
but life within our hearts
does not.
Perhaps there is always
a part of our heart
that will never move again,
but rather stands still
in the synaxis of remembrance
and love
sent from above
not as an answer
but as a comforter.
Nurture the part of the heart
that moves on
with the outer life that does too,
so that participation in life is your gift
to the life lost.
Nurture also the part of the heart
that stands still
and ceases to move,
there you’ll find
that love is growing
as you continue to love.
So I will not delay.
I remain hopeful
that day of meeting
is around the mountain,
that with faith, takes
only a mustard seed to move.
Written Saturday, June 16th 2012
gained what I had not.
In the process
lost myself,
but not all that I knew.
When this took place
did time stand still
and take pity on my circumstance?
No! Time went on
and life around me
surrounded me,
even though a life
I had lost.
All has not been forgot
and never will completely,
for that soul
has played an important role
and it’s a part of what completes me.
The seed
planted within
grew up precious from the start.
I grieve
that not everyone
got to participate
in this precious life,
but now he gets
to participate
with the angels.
In worship.
He got a one way ticket
just a few months in,
but his passport
is still.
Stamped with Love.
Love so intense
if another could sense it,
they would likely cry a river
along with me in my sea.
I ask why sometimes
and know I’ll get no answer.
Even when there may be one
or two or three or four,
there is no verbal word
of consolation
from my expectations.
Deep within and far without.
How do people go on
when they lose a loved one?
Life goes on around us,
but life within our hearts
does not.
Perhaps there is always
a part of our heart
that will never move again,
but rather stands still
in the synaxis of remembrance
and love
sent from above
not as an answer
but as a comforter.
Nurture the part of the heart
that moves on
with the outer life that does too,
so that participation in life is your gift
to the life lost.
Nurture also the part of the heart
that stands still
and ceases to move,
there you’ll find
that love is growing
as you continue to love.
So I will not delay.
I remain hopeful
that day of meeting
is around the mountain,
that with faith, takes
only a mustard seed to move.
Written Saturday, June 16th 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Anastasis
On Monday May 21st, 2012 we had a miscarriage in the evening. I was in my second trimester. We were looking forward to announcing our exciting news and we were slowly doing so, but with our last miscarriage, in 2009, at 15 weeks, we were announcing it even slower than perhaps we might have otherwise. So now it is with sadness that I tell briefly to our family and friends, that yes we were expecting and yes the baby is now with our Lord. I lost a lot of blood and even had a blood transfusion. We named the baby Anastasis, which is Greek for“Resurrection”. Our child was a little boy and we had the burial on Saturday, May 26th, 2012 in a small country church cemetery. We are thankful he has laid to rest peacefully. I’ve missed more church the last while than I have in my whole life, due to Basil being sick a while ago and then myself being sick and then losing this baby. I feel it is good for people to know what we have gone through, because it's been such a huge part of our life.
Basil was really excited to be a big brother and he still is a big brother, just not the way he was looking forward to. We now have 3 children: 1 on earth and 2 in heaven. I guess Seraphim, our other son who was already up in Heaven, now has a sibling there with him and I find comfort in that. Please pray that our Anastasis’ Memory will be Eternal! We will never forget him. We loved him dearly, still do and always will. His life was such a joy and blessing to us. We are sad, but thankful for how precious life is.
An icon by Fr. Vladimir Lysak that we had made after the passing of our son Seraphim.
Strange how every experience is so different. After losing Seraphim, I felt more despair than this time around. Although I have great sadness, I also feel a renewed thankfulness for life and feel blessed to live. Please don't feel too sad for us, but rather remain hopeful with us in the Resurrection. Memory Eternal little Anastasis!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)